


New School (Connor Murphy x Reader)

by WhereIPutTheOtherStuff



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, First Day of School, Nerves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 08:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12767217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereIPutTheOtherStuff/pseuds/WhereIPutTheOtherStuff





	New School (Connor Murphy x Reader)

You had been dreading this day for weeks and there was no backing out now.   
"Good luck today sweetie. You'll be fine. I'm always on the other end of the phone if you need me." your Mum said as you waved to her whilst leaving your house. You had recently moved to America from England because of your parent's work. It was the first day at your new school and you were more than anxious. The breeze blew the skirt of your dress.   
It takes only a second to make a first impression, so you thought that you should dress casually for your first day. A long sleeved dress, black tights and a pair of converses. Surely you would not look too out of place today. 

After reaching the very intimidating building, you checked your watch. Early as planned. Before walking in, you took a deep breath in an attempt to calm the knot of nerves in the pit of you stomach. Slowly you approached the office desk as a kind looking woman greeted you.   
"Hi, I'm (Y/N). I-it's my first day a-and I was told to come here early." you said quietly.   
"Of course, welcome (Y/N). Boys come here." she called.Two guys appeared from around the corner. One wore glasses and his mouth appeared to be constantly smirking. The other wore a blue shirt and kept alternating from looking at you and the floor. He looked just as nervous as you felt, which made no sense as he was already familiar with the school... or... were the students here really that bad?   
"(Y/N), this is Jared Kleinman and Evan hansen. Take good care of her guys, this is her very first day." the woman smiled as the boys led you out into the hallway. 

The school corridor had started to fill with students. One thing that you noticed immediately was that Jared was far more confident than Evan. He showed you to your locker and then the three of you continued to walk as more people squeezed around you as they went about their business. Jared was like your own personal tour guide as he told you the ins and outs of everyday school life.   
"(Y/N), the most important thing to remember is that there are three different kinds of people at this school. The popular kids." He pointed to incredibly pretty girls whose strapping boyfriends hung an arm around their shoulder.   
"The unpopular kids." Jared pointed at Evan who was stood beside you.   
"And then there's me." You raise an inquisitive eyebrow at his last comment.   
"One of a kind and one hundred percent class." His words made you giggle, causing both him and Evan to smile. The relationship between the two boys seemed a bit of a strange one and their friendship seemed to be very one sided. 

"Hmm and I think that's about it. Unless there is anything else you would like us to show you?" Jared asked.   
"No but thank you for your help." you replied shyly in a quiet voice.   
"I'm sorry what?" Jared said.   
"No but thank you for your help." you repeated but louder this time. Jared, Evan and a couple of the students who were close enough to hear you, froze. Jared's eyes widened slightly.  
 "Your majesty." he said dramatically as he bowed infront of you, causing even more people to stare. Damn, he must have picked up on your accent. Your cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. Why did he have to make such a big deal about it, was it not obvious to him that you were already nervous?   
Luckily the bell rang before anything else could be said. Turning on your heels, you hastily ran to class. 

Your morning classes had been better than you thought. Most of them were just icebreaker exercises so you could get to know your fellow students. Or they were introductory lectures on what you were going to be taught during the year. Despite this you found the mixture of being in a new place, introducing yourself to strangers and discovering how many different things you were going to learn this year, very overwhelming. You breathed a sigh of relief when the lunch bell rang. Unable to have the courage to face the school cafeteria, you were thankful to have brought a packed lunch. It was just a question of where to eat it. Outside looked chilly, so you slid into the library which was currently empty.   
  
The room looked a lot bigger inside than you expected. Shelves were stocked high with books on a variety of subjects. Despite being in a deserted room, you could not shake the familiar feeling of nerves that made you on edge. Even though you had made it through the morning you were anxious about what the afternoon would bring. You needed to retreat somewhere. Walking down an aisle, you sat on the floor when you reached its end. By this time you started to breath heavily and you knew what was coming. Please not here. Not on your first day. Your body started to shake as tears pricked your eyes but did not fall. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out your phone, perhaps you should call your Mum. No if you phoned your mum she would instantly come and pick you up and you would feel like a failure. In truth she was as nervous about your first day at school as you were. Come on (Y/N), you could do this.   
  
After sliding your phone back in your bag, you sat there and stared at the floor continuing to gasp for air. How many minutes was the maximum it was supposed to last, twenty? Hopefully the internet wasn't lying. The sound of your heavy breathing rang in your ears, which abruptly stopped when you heard a book fall over quite far in front of where you were sitting. You quickly looked up. A guy was standing at the other end of the aisle. Dressed in a black hoodie and skinny jeans which emphasised his tall, lean figure. His face partially covered by his long brown hair. Despite being quite far away, he was staring at you intensely. How long had he been there? How much had he seen? Judging by where he was and how he looked at you, he had been there for a while. Great, you thought to yourself. An audience is just what you need when you have a panic attack.   
  
Trying to make you look less suspicious, you grab a book from a shelf and stare at it whilst you frantically flicked through its pages. Luckily you were in the right section of the library as you had picked a book called 'Pre-Raphaelite Paintings'. You loved their work and art was one of the subjects that you enjoyed the most. It didn't take you long to find the page with your favourite painting on. Ophelia by John Everett Millais. There was something so beautifully morbid about it, almost poetic. You remembered the school trip that you went to in London when you lived in England. Your class had visited the Tate Britain gallery. This very painting had caught your attention and it took over an hour to pull yourself away from it. If you closed your eyes it was like you were back there. A school kid engrossed in the brush strokes of an old master.   
  
Opening your eyes, you jump slightly as the mysterious man had walked closer to you. He looked your age. His eyebrows were in a confused frown, though his eyes showed little to no emotion. What did he want? You set the book down on your lap with trembling hands as you reached in your bag for an apple. Your breathing was more steady but not back to normal yet. Despite looking at the apple that you had bitten into, you could feel him still staring at you.   
Feeling slightly uncomfortable you glanced up at him and quietly said "Sorry" to fill the awkward silence. He chuckled slightly, wondering what you were apologising for. 

He continued to walk towards you and was now only about a metre away.   
"Is it a tragedy or a blessing?" he said in a stern voice. You looked at him in confusion. What an odd phrase to use as his first ever words spoken to you. Even so, he didn't seem like a bad guy. Usually you would be too scared to talk to people that you didn't know but you decided to push yourself and try something new. Encouraging his conversation, you pat the floor next to you. To your surprise, he sat down next to you as he spoke.   
"Ophelia... Her death in Hamlet."   
You nodded with a smile in reply. You could see what he was getting at. Reaching into his shoulder bag, he took out a sandwich and began to eat it.   
"I'm Connor by the way" he mumbled with a mouthful of food.   
"(Y/N). It's lovely to meet you." you smile back at him. Suddenly he frowned at you and anger filled his eyes.   
"Is that some sort of sarcastic joke? I'm sure that Kleinman has told you about me!" he growled. You did not understand why he suddenly changed his mood. If he wanted to scare you on your first day then he was going the right way about it. You saw that he was getting ready to stand up and probably leave. In an effort to stop him you quickly began to speak. 

"No. You are the first person to actually come over and talk to me today. I'm new and I have found today difficult. Especially since you saw that I..." you cut yourself off, looking down at your trembling hands in embarrassment. He knew that you were going to say 'since you saw that I had a panic attack' you just couldn't bring yourself to say it aloud. Also you found his harsh stare very intimidating.   
"Chip?" he offered, holding a bag of crisps to you.   
"Thank you." you replied taking one and quickly devouring it. It was nice, you both felt human. You glanced at Connor and saw that the edge of his lips were curled up into a small smile, which made you smile. Sometimes it is what's unsaid that says the most. The bell rang, snapping you both back to reality. Hastily you placed the book on the shelf and stood up, however Connor did not seem to be in such a rush.   
"Sorry I have got to find out where my next class is. I look forward to seeing you again." you smile. He gave you a nod as you sprinted out of the library. 

Your afternoon lessons were similar to the ones that you had attended in the morning. It had been a stressful first day and you were exhausted, thankful when the final bell of the day rang. As you walked home, your mind began to wonder and think about the day's events. The kids there seemed nice. You probably had most in common with Evan, he was always nice and tried to help where he could even if his nerves were getting the better of him. With Jared, his sarcasm knows no bounds. Sure he meant well but it was sometimes bordering on being well... just an annoying jerk. Finally there's Connor, who you guess was more of an acquaintance than a friend. He was still a complete mystery. Perhaps it was because you both felt out of place at this school and this had brought you together.  You did not even know if you would see him again so you could get to know him better but perhaps he would be in one of your classes. 

Opening the door, you smile as you were finally back to the familiarity of home.   
"Sweetie is that you? Your father and I are in the dining room and I have just served up a plate for you." called your Mum. As you walked into the room, your parents could instantly see how tired you were because of the black rings under your eyes.   
"So how did it go? Tell us everything." your Mum asked excitedly. You proceeded to talk about your classes and what you were going to learn throughout the year. That Jared and Evan showed you around. You glossed over the part about lunch as you knew that they would ask why you didn't go to the cafeteria. 

The next day at school was a lot better. It helped that you now knew the building, so you did not feel so anxious. Each class today did give you homework, it was not a lot but enough to keep you busy. Pushing yourself again, you decided to eat your packed lunch in the cafeteria. Sitting next to Evan, much to Evan's surprise, you thought it best if you started to know each other a little better. You felt most comfortable talking to him and discovered that you actually had quite a few things in common. The both of you spoke about your love of nature.   
"M-maybe I c-could show you the parks near here." he stuttered.   
"I would love that." you replied with a huge grin on your face, making Evan smile. 

Breezing through your afternoon classes, the last bell of the day was a most welcomed sound. Quickly you walk to your locker.   
"Queenie!" called the unmistakable voice of Jared who walked towards you and put one of his arms around you, Evan trailing behind. Honestly he was a bit too close for comfort but you knew that he was just trying to be friendly. After he removed his arm you went and stood next to Evan, to give yourself a little bit of space between you and Jared.   
"Hi, did you have a good day?" you ask the boys cheerfully. They start to talk about their day.   
Jared looked a little saddened when he heard that you and Evan had sat on the same table at lunch without him.

A smirk appeared on Jared's face.   
"Hey Connor, loving the new hair length. Very school shooter chic." he said as he looked at someone behind you. Could it be the guy you shared lunch break with yesterday? However why would Jared say something like that to him? You did not dare turn around to see who he was talking to as you didn't want to get involved.   
"I'm just kidding. It's a joke." he added. However it really didn't sound like a joke.   
"Yeah I know it was funny. I'm laughing. Can't you tell?" said a familiar voice, it was the same Connor from yesterday. Nerves started to knot in your stomach as the conversation made you feel uncomfortable, hopefully it was finished now. There was no need for the two boys to be rude to each other or was there some sort of history there?   
"Am I not laughing hard enough for you?" Connor continued now in a raised voice that made you jump slightly. You looked up to see Evan looking behind you in concern. He must be feeling nervous too.   
"You're such a freak." Jared replied "That was not very nice." you said quietly to Jared as he walked to his locker which was a few feet away. 

"Did someone laugh! Or did someone add a snide comment!" Connor shouted in anger. Your face lost all of its colour. Perhaps the ground would swallow you up as you really did not want to be there anymore. Connor now seeing red, his eyes focused on Evan who he stormed towards. Connor was now in front of you a foot away from Evan's face, luckily with his back to you.   
"You think I'm a freak?" he yelled.   
"N-no I-I didn't say a-anything." Evan stuttered.   
"Bullshit!" Connor shouted. Slowly you took a few steps backward, hoping that you could blend in with a lockers that lined the walls of the hallway. It was too late, Connor had noticed your shadow start to move. He wasn’t going to let the owner of the shadow get away so easily. 

"I bet it was you! You must think that you are so hilarious tha-" he turned around yelling but cut himself off when he saw you but it was too late, the damage had already been done. Your face was one of pure fright. Connor Murphy was terrifying. You had cowered slightly under his imposing frame. Staring at you for a fraction of a second, the image of how you had looked in the library yesterday when you were having a panic attack filled his mind. However this time he was the one who caused you to panic. Tears pricked in the corners or your wide, shock filled eyes. It was all too much. You needed to get out of there now.   
Raising your arms, you gently push into Connor's chest, causing him to take a couple of steps back. Before you ran down the hallway and out of school.   
He wanted to run after you but something was holding him back.   
"Nice one Murphy." said Jared sarcastically. Connor glared at him with his fists clenched before walking off. 

Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you open the door to your home. Just act natural, the last thing you want is for your parents to be worried about your current state.   
"I'm just going to my room to look at the homework I got today. I'll eat later." you called.   
"OK, don't work yourself too hard honey." said your Dad. After climbing the stairs you close the door to your bedroom after entering it. The walk home had allowed you enough time to calm down a little bit. However your mind started to replay the events that happened earlier. Connor did not mean it, or did he? He was alright in the library on your first day but was he now showing his true colours? No it was a mistake. You made a mental note to ask Evan and Jared tomorrow about Connor. There seemed to be a history about him that you did not know. Should you be worried about it?   
Your brain was working overtime. You needed to distract yourself somehow. Picking up your school bag, you begin to look over all of the homework that you had been set. 

Your phone began to vibrate. Unlocking it, you see the words '1 new message' illuminate the screen.   
'Hi (Y/N), I hope that you are ok. Do you want to talk?'   
It was Evan checking to see if you were alright. He was always so kind, you'll be best friends in no time. You quickly replied.   
'I'm ok, just a little shaken up. Will be better by tomorrow. Hope that you are ok :)'   
You were so engrossed in texting that you nearly didn't hear the doorbell ring, shortly followed by footsteps climbing the stairs. Mum must be home. Your bedroom door swung open, it was your Dad. 

"(Y/N) there's a boy here to see you. He didn't want to come in so he's out the front. Also he seems to have difficulty talking." your Dad said before walking back to the kitchen.   
"Evan" you mumble to yourself with a smile. He must have stopped by to make sure that you were OK. Happily you sprint down the stair before walking out the front.   
You froze when you looked up to see who was waiting for you...Connor. You started to back away from him slightly.   
In all honesty you did not know how to feel at this point.   
"(Y/N). Wait... Please." he started in a voice that was barely louder than a whisper.   
"I wanted to stop by to say that it was just all my fault... I just... I just get so angry sometimes over the stupidest shit and I don't know why. I am such an idiot." he said with honesty in his voice. You tilted your head to one side slightly as confusion wash over your face.  
"Damn it, I guess it's ok because we weren't that close. I knew that I would screw up and lose you sooner or late. Just didn't think it would only be in a couple of days." he growled. There was a look of despair in his eyes.   
"I'm sorry" he said.You continued to stare at him. It was obvious from his face that his apology was genuine. He had anger problems but not everyone was perfect. In all honesty you did hardly know the guy but there was definitely a potential friend there. Connor has been one of the few who hasn't yet made fun of your accent. He had gone out of his way to apologise. Everyone deserves a second chance. 

A small smile appeared on your face.   
"Let's try again. Hi I'm (Y/N)." you say as you gently grab his hand and shake it. The action had caused him to jump but when he realised what you were doing, he started to smile back at you.   
"Connor Murphy." has replied.   
"Would you like to join me for lunch tomorrow, I'll be on the table in the corner?" you asked.   
"I look forward to it." he grinned before waving goodbye and walking off. 

One thing was for sure, Connor Murphy was still a mystery.  


End file.
